What if…

2 Mar

You die young?
God forbid, not my portion. There is still so much more to achieve. I serve a living God and by his special grace death will not become of me before my old age. amen

I am very sure that is what all you readers said as soon as you read the 1st 5 words. Well, my friend’s sister said the same and so did many other people that are no more today due to dying young. Death does not discriminate. It doesn’t care if you are rich, poor, white, black or asian. Death has no respect for anybody it just takes whoever it pleases whenever it pleases.

Nigeria is one of the countries with the highest mortality rate in the world according to research. Nigerians don’t grow as old as people in other parts of the world. This is a fact that if we are true to ourselves we will admit that we already see it around us regularly, yet we do not plan for untimely and premature death.

You could ask, how does one prepare for untimely death? Well the answer is simple; make arrangement to see that your children and parents (if they are old and dependent on you) do not have to suffer financially because you are no more’ Which family member they go to live with, which school they go to etc.

If a young father dies, life as hard as it will be for the widow, has to go on for her and the kids. If she is lucky, her husband’s family will give her financial and/or moral support once in a while. But if a mother dies young, the husband and his family start thinking of which of his sisters or brothers will be kind enough to take in 1 or 2 of the kids she left behind because the young father has to go out to work or how they split the kids among family members. God help any member of the deceased’s (wife) family if they offer to take in the kids.

Husband’s response:  No way, do you want my family to lose touch with them? No, we will sort it out among ourselves thank you. everybody go into panic mode because as it is an untimely death no arrangement has been made.

Why do we say we love our kids so much yet we do not make the necessary arrangement for unforeseen  circumstances? I know it is very hard to think about making such plans but if you just take a minute to think about how hard it will be for the loved ones you leave behind when you go, you will realise that making this necessary arrangement is not so hard after all.

No matter what we hate about the western countries, they are more often than not prepared. Many young couples made their wills as soon as they got married. Some 30 something year old have revised his or her will more than once already. They make arrangement with someone(usually their kid’s godmother/godfather) that he has to step in as the child’s guardian/carer in the event of an untimely death. The person they have arranged with is only there to offer support or relief of parental duties while the surviving parent need a break of their own from the child(ren).

I seriously pray to Allah that neither i nor you will ever need to use this but i really hope that by putting it out there for you to read, i have influenced 1 or 2 people to make the “what if i die young” arrangement. I am yet to make this arrangement myself but i hope to soon in shaa Allah.

Please remember to leave a comment for me so that i know what you think. Have you got it arranged already or has my write up prompted you? Thank you for taking the time to read it.

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11 Responses to “What if…”

  1. omosalewa williams 03/03/2013 at 07:56 #

    This is great reminder! I will discuss it with my husband. Thanks Joke its a nice piece.

  2. Bola 03/03/2013 at 16:13 #

    When I lost my sister inlaw, I thought of writting a ‘will’. Not so much as to property related but about who I would want my kids to be with. I went as far as discussing it with a lawyer but I never went further. I believe we all should consider it as a priority. Who knows, tomorrow may never come…

  3. bonnetcap 06/03/2013 at 23:57 #

    it’s a very touchy but important subject. i hope we make these arrangements

  4. funmilayo adeniyi 10/03/2013 at 20:42 #

    The write up will make many people to buy ideal of will.I have not written my because I think it is not necessary but with this and experince am seen from the a relation I think it is good idea.

  5. Oreagba A.A. 28/06/2013 at 05:22 #

    This is really an eye opener. My dad died at 33 and my mum was 31 then. We were 4 boys left for my mum to cater and fend for all alone. We went through hell to survive. If my dad had left a will behind may be it would not be that bad. Alhamdullilahi.

    • bonnetcap 06/07/2013 at 21:29 #

      alhamdulillah for his mercies, leaving a will behind as soon as one starts having kids is important because one can specify exactly what to leave for one’s wife/husband and the kids one leave behind. Allah knows best

  6. F 07/10/2015 at 14:45 #

    Very good reminder for us careless ones. Islam has enjoined us to write our wills and not to go 3 nights without revisiting it….just in case. I see so much wisdom in it,though I am of the heedless,but will do so soon insha Allah. May Allah reward you.

  7. Fatimah 07/10/2015 at 14:49 #

    It has also been enjoined by our Prophet (SAW) not to go for three nights without revisiting our will, so it’s encouraged to write one, though there are guiding priciples(not exactly as is done in the western world). Thanks so much for this info as well as reminder.

    • bonnetcap 07/10/2015 at 20:33 #

      Thank you for this. I didn’t even know we had to revisit it often. We learn something new daily. Thanks for that

  8. Cathy 07/10/2015 at 15:41 #

    Thanks for this timely reminder.

    We need to stop burying our heads in the sand and face the realities of life. We must hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

    Good job.

    • bonnetcap 07/10/2015 at 20:40 #

      We need to wake up and face reality. Thank you for reading it

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