Mother duties

18 Sep

So these last few weekends have been super busy for me. We have been at a few university open days with my daughter. She sure didn’t get her organisational skills from me because left to me we will probably be going to them next year. We are super proud of her.

Daughter has always been at the top of her class and although she works hard to earn her place, this recent weeks have exposed my shortcomings as a parent. I have constantly praised her, constantly teased her of the fact that she will be a big shot one day but what I haven’t realised in all of these is that I have been putting more pressure on her. Since choosing her choice of study in university, she has met more kids like her going to study thesame course as her in uni and of course among these people are some that got better grades than she did at GCSEs and she got really good grades. She has heard a few conversations at open days that made her realise that her playing field is no more comfortable, It just got bigger.
So she looked quite worried again today after meeting up with some girls who appear to have better results than her and when we had the parent talk with her, she wasn’t convinced still so after a few minutes when it was just me and her I asked her why she wasn’t convinced and she said “daddy keep saying I am on track but I am not used to being on track, I am used to being above track” That is when it dawned on me that in all our eagerness and excitment, we forgot to tell her that her playing field of about 50 kids just became a playing field of 1000 kids

So going forward I will appreciate and encourage every achievement she makes and stop adding any extra pressure on her by telling people what course she intends to study at uni as I have now realised I am not going about it the right way. So celebrate your children’s achievements, encourage their aspirations but do not add any pressure on them by allowing them compare themselves to another kid that does better. Rather nuture their shortcomings in a subtle way that doesn’

t involve comparison.

I am convinced she will get a place at a university of her choice she just needs to be convinced too 🙂


2 Responses to “Mother duties”

  1. Tola 19/09/2016 at 08:25 #

    Love this! Never really thought of it that way so thanks for sharing this. Especially as we’re just starting the whole school thing our self (how ironic!)! Need to be very careful about not comparing and just generally encouraging and motivating! Well done to Aaliyah! She’s done so well already! X

    • bonnetcap 19/09/2016 at 12:26 #

      Thank you very much. We do need to remember that little acheivements also need to be celebrated and not to focus on where they may have come short

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