Modesty

3 Aug

Why is it so difficult for women to cover up these days, I seem to ask myself this question quite often these days?  But when the almighty says you should dress up modestly, why is it so difficult to do this then? I understand it is hard work when those around you aren’t covering up but believe me, there are some seriously beautiful modest outfits around these days that even those people making you dress the way you are now will be asking you where you shop. You just have to look for it in the right shops.

What gets to me more than most is some Muslim and Christian women who say they are born again Christians and practicing muslims yet they go around wearing low cut tops, mini skirts and even provocative outfits usually topped up with garish make-up and vulgar jewellery. Some Muslim women will even remove their scarves or hijabs to “fit in at work” or please people. Some even say they remove it because their husband likes it when they don’t cover their hair…. He likes it when you sin??? and you are not questioning his reasoning behind it and refer him to the chapter about modesty in the holy Qur’an?

We alone are responsible in the hereafter for our actions here on earth not somebody else so do not let anybody be the reason you sin. We are only on earth for a while, our eternal abode in sha Allah is jannah. We know that ignorance is not an excuse in the court of law so we do not do anything that will cause us to be summoned to court. Why do we then feign ignorance when it comes to the commands of the almighty??? Nobody knows when they will die yet this thing which is as important as the other things we have been commanded to do to please our maker is being ignored. It isn’t easy being modestly dressed, oh yes I know because it is still a daily struggle for me.

Do something amazing for yourself today; set yourself a challenge that in one year’s time your outfits will be more modest than they are today. If you think you can’t do the transition at ones then take it slowly. For example start by wearing skirts or dresses with longer hemline or ditch all your low cut tops and start hiding away your cleavages. It won’t be easy and yes you will fail sometimes but make sure you get yourself back on track before its too late. My challenge is to wear longer tops than I’m wearing now and in sha Allah I will do it. Please for the sake of your hereafter take this challenge up and change your wardrobe even if it’s one item at a time. I will like to know what challenge you have taken on please share so that hopefully 1 or more people will be encouraged in doing so. xxx

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I miss …….

6 Jul

Seeing and hearing about them. The family of 6; What a beauty they were. Dad, mom and their 4 kids. I am a product of that kind of family and i absolutely adore being one of four but for some reason, they are no longer cool. The new cool is the family of 4. I loved that and have that , thank God. A decade later I wish I had that family of 6.

I got thinking about it one fine sunny day when my son didn’t do his homework and he was grounded from going out to play with his friends. Now, he doesn’t really get along with his sister as they don’t have much in common so being grounded meant he had to entertain himself which nowadays means going on the internet or playing a game on his Xbox 360. If he had 2 other siblings he will definitely have something in common with at least 1 of them and they will never be short of someone to play with whenever he is grounded from going out to play.

You often see comments on a picture of any family of 6 saying “you’ve got your hands full haven’t you?” “How do you manage with 4 kids?” etc. Some of the parents are ashamed of it sometimes and immediately go on the defensive saying “I have my hands full” when you ask how many kids they’ve got just so you don’t get to tell them what they think you are thinking. I think having 4 kids (or more) will probably lead to mom being more of a mom and less of a referee as is the case in a 2 kids household well from my experience as a mom if 2.

It is a bit too late for some of us but i encourage any new families out there to give it a serious thought. If I have anymore now, my kids aren’t going to benefit from it as they are already too old to get the same benefit from it as I did. Having 4 kids is definitely a lot to be thankful for, something which those around you with less than 4 will come to realise when its maybe too late. I mean too late for them to have all 4 of them grow up together. So to all you family of 6 out there, let it be known that I am 1 of the people jealous of you right now so keep showing off you brood of 4. Happy parenting.

Adoption

27 Mar

i watched a programme on ISLAM CHANNEL earlier tonight that was about kids looking to be adopted. It’s a topic close to my heart and i hope to adopt some day soon, God willing. Find my first post about adoption https://bonnetcap.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/children-3/. It’s really upsetting to know that lots and lots of kids are waiting to be taken into a home to be loved when anybody can do it. Most people that adopt are those who are looking to satisfy their own need for a child or the joys that come with having a child. Not many people do it for the fact that you will be giving much desired love and kindness to a lost child.

In my opinion many people do not adopt because of the fear of what they may be getting themselves into but if you think about it really, do we know what we are getting ourselves into with our natural children? we dont choose them off a supermarket shelf so why the fear of adoption? Many people will say your natural child has been with you since birth so you get to form their personality but every child is different which is why you can find a mum with 1 loving, caring and generous kid and a second angry and unkind child, what is the reason behind that then after all she gave birth to both of them. 

Please do not let the fact that they are not your natural children stop you from doing this beautiful act of charity as God almighty always love a charitable person. If adoption is a step you are not ready to take, why not consider fostering? It’s also a very rewarding act. It must be a very demanding job to do but with God on your side, i’m sure you will scale through. Have a look on here for things you need to know about adoption; https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption

 Like i said earlier in the post i haven’t adopted yet but if my post inspires or encourages someone to think about it or even go on to do it, i hope you will one day come on here to share your journey and experience with us. What do men think about adoption? i really will like to know. Do recommend this article to your male friends, husbands, colleagues and brothers so that they can read and let me know what they think. 

Food waste

1 Feb

I live in a nation where food is wasted without a thought for the starving people of the world, no thought for the cost of the food. I watched a programme where a lady on the show talked about how much the cost of food was during the war and how hard it was to see food waste in bins. People used up every last ingredient in the house because they just cannot afford not to. But these days the bins are full of food waste and she thinks its because food is cheap so people don’t think before they buy too much from the shop or the market especially with all this buy 1 get 1 free offer you see quite often these days, you know i agree with her! Personally i think food is a bit expensive but if you think about it, if it was costlier to buy we will waste less and that is the truth.

I pride myself for being conscious of the fact that there are people in this world who cannot afford to eat at all so i try to not waste anything in the kitchen. I usually succeed as you will be hard pushed to find any waste in my kitchen or so i thought until during the course of this same programme (food and drink its called on BBC2) i realised that i could make use of that lettuce that is going brown instead of throwing it away. I ‘m always reluctant to make use of left over salad ingredients as they are usually eaten cold but i realised that it doesn’t necessarily mean that it cannot be cooked very lightly. So i have decided that going forward, i will try my best to use every single left over in my fridge.

Its even wrong in the sight of the almighty, may he always show us the right way of doing things. So for the sake of Allah, waste not want not. What clever way have you used to use up left over food recently? Please share because we don’t know it all, you may just share your “re use it” tip with someone who needs it. I used up the “browning” lettuce in indomie because 1 packet is not enough for me and 2 is not good for weight losers. I hope i have inspired you to use your left overs thank you.

Labaik Allahuma Labaik- My Hajj Experience

2 Jan
May Allah be pleased with us, what an experience. The buzz is so different to any I have experienced on any other holidays I have been on. As soon as we landed in jeddah airport and we stepped off the plane onto the runway, this blast of hot air hit me all over and made me think what??? and then I looked to my left and saw the aeroplane’s engine fan slowly rotating so i calmed down thinking oh it is the heat from the engine.
After the whole immigration and baggage collection palaver we stepped outside from the airport into the same heat from before, my face fell when I realised that the heat I felt earlier was in fact the normal heat in this holy city and not from the fan of the aeroplane’s engine. Oh dear, how do people cope in this weather? But they do, alhamdulillah as we will have to for the next 3 weeks.
The day after we arrived in Saudi, we went to the one and only masjidul haram, a masjid where your sex does not determine where you do your salat, men praying beside women praying beside men, Allahu akbar. I have never seen any building the size of it in my entire life. Maybe there is a bigger one out there I don’t know. The sight, size and feel of it is just magnificent. No discrimination of any sort, you do not feel any LEWD looks on you. People are on their best behaviour, they try not to swear, backbite or complain. Everybody is just focused on praying to Allah or glorifying Allah.

I am so grateful to Allah for making me and my husband 1 of this year’s pilgrims while I am young and fit enough to be here. I saw a lot of old people there that made me give my thanks to Allah that I am able to do it now. It is 1 of the 5 pillars of Islam so as long as you can afford it and are fit enough to do it, it becomes compulsory on you. There are so many old people here that you just have to ignore the fact that people are pushing through and just get on with it. If you complain about how hard it is what should the old and frail do then?

Al masjid al haram was a sight to behold, its always clean because the cleaners are always there to clean up the smallest of dirts as soon as it gets there.  The amount of people there morning, noon and night is unbelievable that you wonder if some people have any toilet breaks at all.
Tawaf was quite hectic especially the first one I did which was before asr so you can imagine the heat that time of day, there were watering fans around but it is that hot that you don’t feel it on you at times. May Allah subhana wa tala answer all our duas, accept our umrah and hajj, Aamin. I found sa’ee very emotional, I kept thinking of Hajar and her determination to get water to her infant son before he could die. She must have been very thirsty herself but she ignored that and found the strength to run between  al-safa and al-marwah hills in search of water 7 times. It is truly a mother’s love that will make someone do that.
The 5 days of hajj was very hectic. Of course I had been warned but it didn’t prepare me enough for how hard it really was and to imagine that it was much harder for the people in the time of our beloved prophet (saw) but of course they would not think so as that was all they knew. We had our shower, put on our ihram then made out niyah (intention for hajj) and then set off for mina, the whole day and night was spent here. The next day was spent in Arafat where we had to remain in supplication to the almighty from after mid-day till almost sun down. Of course we had breaks in between but it was such a solemn experience that in sha Allah i hope to do it once more. Things were going okay until we had to leave arafat for muzdaliffah, it was a long and tiring wait for the coach after the whole ritual at Arafat. Maybe it would have been a whole lot easier to walk to muzdaliffah as some others did but we were being careful not to lose touch with our group, not even for half an hour of the hectic hajj period especially as we didn’t speak arabic.
Muzdaliffah is so dusty that if you hadn’t caught the coughing bout yet, you will catch it there. The feeling there can never be felt elsewhere. Everyone of us sleeping directly under the sky with no shelter above us. It sure does remind you of the presence of the almighty.  We picked the needed pebbles to use in jamarat and as soon as it was dawn, arrangements were made to start going back to mina from where after breakfast we walked to jamarat. By Allah it was a long walk but unbeknown to me, this wont be the hardest walk. I remember my mum warning me that if i dropped anything by accident no matter what it is, I musnt bend to pick it up as this could result in stampede which could then lead to death. We got to a point that I was so weak that I could have fainted if not for a kind lady who gave me a lucozade tablet. May Allah subhana wa ta ala bless her for noticing and coming to my aid. That lucozade was the “pick me up” I needed. We only used 7 pebbles for the large jamarat on this day which is the 3rd day of hajj. We went back to our apartment to wait for news of our sacrifice being completed then cut an inch off my hair and rest until we went to do tawaf and sa’ee after which we returned to spend the night at mina.
On the 4th day of hajj we went to throw stones at all 3 jamarat. We had to walk back to mina and this was the hardest walk of my life. It was so hot that my fingers swelled up so much that I was so scared, I had never experienced anything like it before, my feet swelled too. When we got to our tent in mina my doctor friend told me to hydrate myself and elevate my feet to let things return to normal and alhamdulillah they did after a few hours.
On the 5th day we spend the morning at mina then went to jamarat again to throw stones atall 3 jamarat and then went back to makkah to perform tawaf once more and then drink zamzam water  after which the hajj right is completed. May Allah subana wa ta ala make it a hajj mabroor for us.
It was quite a long coach ride to madinah but we stopped a couple of times on the way to stretch our legs. It was almost as hot at night as it was in the day. We arrived at our hotel at around 2:00 a.m and it didn’t take us long to check in even though there was a lot of us arriving at that time.
The call to prayer from the prophet’s mosque, now that is a sound worth waking up to. Masha Allah you need to see the beauty that is Al-Masjid an-Nabawi. It was a sight to behold and our hotel was just a few steps away from one of the back entrances so no excuse not to go and do salat there. I only wished I had done the 40 salat that is sunnah but in shaa Allah I will be able to on my next hajj. Madinah is such a beautiful place but I didn’t enjoy the beauty as I wanted to because I think hajj rights tired me out. My plan is if I get to perform another hajj before I die I will go madinah first so as to enjoy the sights and not get bored. In shaa Allah, i will spend 8 nights in madinah, go to makkah on the 9th day, hajj starts on the 10 th or 11th day, do a bit of resting and a bit of shopping on the 16th & 17th day then come back home on the 18th day. Now that sounds like a plan may Allah SWT make it a reality for me. Aamin.
I always used to say why cant people who go year in year out sponsor someone who is less fortunate than them instead, at least Allah will give them and the person they sponsored the reward of hajj but having been there myself, I fully understand the attraction and I feel a bit guilty that I am making a plan to go again when I could be sending someone less fortunate than me. (mind you, I do not have that kind of money now, so it’s all just a dream.)
I hope you enjoy reading my post, I’m sorry it took so long to post, as you may be able to tell, I started writing this article during hajj which was in October.
Leave me a comment of what you think please and I hope you come here to read my experience when you are making plans for your hajj.
Asalam aleikum warahmatuhllah wabarakatuhu.
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modest swimsuit

31 Jul

modest swimsuit

i want to rediscover my love of swimming with this modest swim suit. would you consider wearing this? share your constructive views on it please.

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my first attempt at building an OOTD

30 Jul

my first attempt at building an OOTD

what do you think of my first attempt? yay or nay