What do they care about black lives?

17 Jul

So Edward Enninful said he was racially profiled by a security staff at his place of work and he was asked to use the loading bay entrance. He went on to say the security staff had been let go and a lot of people commented saying two wrongs do not make a right that he had sacked a worker who obviously earned less than him and of course they and their families will now suffer for it.

While that may be the case, the reality that I took out of the incident is that when they say they see the colour of our skin before anything else, I now fully believe it because I do not imagine the editor of British Vogue turned up to work in a hi Vis jacket over track suit or with a mop and bucket in hand yet the security guard didn’t see how he dressed worthy of him using the front entrance hence the reason he was shown the service entrance.

It also shows that while we have been shouting from the rooftop since May that black lives matter and about the racial injustices and discriminations faced especially by black people, some people have actively chosen not to educate themselves which is what made this security guard feel able to comfortably racial profile a whole editor of a fashion house.

While I feel sorry for him that he lost his job I also know that it is needed to send a message to anyone who believes that it is okay in 2020 to assume all black people are service men/women just because they are black.

Giving him a warning will not make him go away and educate himself, he will carry on as normal but as things are now for him and others like him who would have seen or heard about this, I know it will now make them listen and educate themselves on how not to be a racist and how to be anti racist.

Leave me a comment below on what your thoughts are. Thanks for reading. #blacklivesmatter

Are you even thinking about it?

26 Jan

I went vegan for five days to be able to take part in veganuary. I didn’t struggle on it because I was lucky enough that on the days I did it, there weren’t too many temptations or distractions around. 

At the end of the five days, I felt it was pointless to have done it for such a short period as I did not reap benefits and I wasn’t put in the midst of temptation to test my resolve. So my pride in doing it soon turn to disappointment because why didn’t I do 30 days so I could really track any benefits if there was any?

Vegan and Nigerian do not go together neither does vegan and Muslim so I thought it will be a good idea to explore it. It was a good experience overall however it got me thinking a lot more about what we could all be doing for the planet as the situation seem to be getting worse. I think Nigerians and Muslims are one of the biggest groups of people who consume the most meat. Someone told me that in the UK here where Muslims make up about 4% of the population, we eat around 20% of all meat produced and I think that is a heck of a lot of meat consumed by a small group of people. Then there are the cheese, milk, egg, butter etc that is being consumed daily.

Embedded in Islam is respect and love for our environment. In Quran chapter 6 verse 141 we were advised not to be excessive, for Allah does not like those who waste. Why then are we Muslims not doing the most in preserving the environment? Imagine making plans to go for a meal with colleagues from work and someone saying I can’t go because the restaurant does not serve halal meat. Really!!! What will happen to you if you eat vegetarian lunch just one day out of your many meat filled lunches? 

During the time of prophet Muhammad pbuh, the rich ate meat once a week while the poor ate meat only on eids. Prophet Muhammad pbuh only ate meat on rare occasions. His close companion Umar ibn al-Khattab explicitly warned against regular consumption of meat calling it addictive. He even prohibited people from eating meat two days in a row.

Are the meats being sold to us from our halal slaughterhouses adhering to being tayyib? How do you feel about that? What are you doing to help in the fight towards leaving the planet a better place than we found it? Have you thought about it? Have you discussed it with friends and family? Could you reduce your meat consumption? Could you ensure your meat is being farmed in a way that keep to tayyib guidelines? Do you know what happens to male chicks after they are born? The farming of seafood is a whole other topic.

If we won’t do it for the environment then we should do it for our health. Do you know how badly consumption of red meat affect our cardiovascular health? Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States. There are several links between red meat, heart disease, diabetes and cancer to name just a few. I guess what I’m saying is we should take a flexitarian approach to eating. I will love to if it means contributing my little effort to saving the environment and of course my health but I don’t know how easy it will come to me to adopt after a lifetime of a meat heavy diet but I guess thinking about it is the first step to doing it so we shall see.

Did you know that 75% to 80% of the available farmland is used for growing food for the animals that is turned to meat for those that can afford to eat meat? This leaves only about 20% for growing vegetables, nuts and seeds for us. This information left me speechless as it means three quarters of our diet is meat. No wonder vegetables are expensive when growing it isn’t so easy.

I am thinking of going vegan for a longer period because even though I felt my experiment was pointless, three days after it ended I noticed some health benefits which I am not sure happened because I abstained from meat products so I will like to see if it truly will make a difference in my overall health so here comes my second go at being vegan. Get involved and suggest when you think I should do it and how long for: 21 days or 28 days or 30 days? Leave your suggestions in the comment section of my recent upload on https://youtu.be/Ud_XNso21l0. There is also an ongoing giveaway that closes very soon. I am not vegan so the video is one where I was cooking chicken. As salaam aleikum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu

Some of the meals I ate while vegan.

In my opinion

21 Dec

Not many people will like me for saying this but unfortunately it is how I feel. I don’t like it when people ask for donations towards funeral costs for an older person. The only certainty of this life that we have is DEATH so I don’t understand why we are almost always unprepared for it. I don’t believe in untimely death because what does untimely mean? People of different ages die every single day and it happens because it is their appointed time so how is it then untimely? Someone dying a lot younger than expected is simply just that. Dying younger than expected because nobody has been promised old age. We all know this but choose not to believe it.

I saw a fundraiser appeal for the burial of Kehinde Lijadu today, she died in November at over 70 years of age so my question is why were they not prepared for her dying? Unless they want a so-called befitting burial I don’t know why else they will be raising funds to bury her. Why throw a party instead of simply burying the deceased? It is important that we all take charge and control of what happens to our bodies and affairs when we die and what happens to any dependants we leave behind.

2020 is only around the corner, let’s make a commitment to put our affairs in order to take responsibility of our affairs in life and death. Less of the burial fundraising in the coming years. No matter how young or healthy you are or think you are make sure you have a financial plan in place that will ensure your affairs are taken care of when the inevitable happens.

I will like to read your thoughts on what you think of people asking for money towards burial costs of so called unexpected deaths these days.

Mother duties part 2

23 Oct

Today was the last of our university open day visits with my second and this visit resonated with him more than the others at the first impression stage. One of the most important things to him in the search for a university has been how diverse the universities are. We knew we couldn’t determine that on just a one day visit but he was always of the impression that how the university advertisement come across is a good indication of what a university think of diverse representation and we found that at York. 

The brochure of the halls of residence features a whole 3 black girls vs 2 white boys on the cover and that meant a lot to him. It shows parents and especially students of black British background that representation truly matter and the university appreciate how it may affect our decision making when it comes to choosing a university of choice.

Speaking to current students was very useful to us because they get to share things you may not have thought about. Sophie who we spoke to in one of the accommodations told us she wished she chose this university based on what she wants from her immediate environment i.e the accommodation, campus and her course will fit into her person as it would have made her choose a different hall but she focused more on the availability of things for her to do in the city. This means she has to walk farther than she would like to take part in the sports she enjoys doing as there are no sporting activities or teams in her halls and she doesn’t have time to go out and socialise.

I have never really placed emphasis on how diverse my working environment could be when seeking out new opportunities as I have just accepted it that if it is diverse it is and if it isn’t then it isn’t but actually why should I not prioritise this when job hunting? I will make efforts now going forward to challenge myself to seek out the best environment for me. I hope you enjoyed reading this and found at least one thing useful, let me know what you think please as I love reading your thoughts as much as I hope you enjoy reading mine.  #opendays #universityofyork #diversityinuni

Here is my first experience of open day visits I wrote in 2016.

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Two things I learnt this week

5 Sep
  1. I need to stop eating out
  2. You cannot have a cheat DAY in the middle of a low carb diet week 🤦

Let me go into details. So my boy child became a man child yesterday. He turned 18 alhamdulillah so that’s it I have no kid kids anymore they are both grown ups now so I have adult kids. In the course of looking for pictures of him from many years ago to post on my status I realized that even though I was 3 stone heavier all those years ago, I didn’t really see signs of blackheads or breakouts on my face on the pictures I have unlike what my face look like at the moment so upon reflection I realized the only difference in my life between then and now is how often I eat out/eat processed food. So I will have to learn to say no to friends and family asking us to go out for meals and watch how much processed foods I eat just so I can see if my face improves because it is too bad with breakouts at the moment it is making me sad. I had a good six weeks or so where my face was quite impressive but towards the end of my last cycle things went downhill and it hasn’t improved since then. Maybe it won’t make a difference but I think I need to try it to know.

On to my second lesson of the week, my younger offspring turned 18 and we decided to eat out for breakfast and a late lunch/supper buffet and of course we had cake(s) too. I consumed about 1500 calories on a low carb diet on Monday and Tuesday which is great but on Wednesday I ate at least 3000 calories of a whole lot of carbs 😲 I can only imagine what damage has been done to my loss this week. I know now not to do an active low carb diet and eat bad food and expect a good loss in that week. Anyway I won’t be too disappointed when I jump on the scale on Friday. I intend to have lemon water for breakfast today 😀 as I am still full from the buffet meal we had.
It has been nice updating you on my life again I hope you all are great, leave me a comment below if you think my plan not to eat out anymore will improve my acne ridden face or is there anything else you have tried that you trust? Let me know and stay safe all 💙

Child abuse in 2019!

7 Mar

I published a survey in 2012 to help me write a blog post about child sexual abuse which you can find here. So I was surprised to get an email alert that my survey had 1 new response 😱 in 2019.

Very surprised but glad at the same time as it means I can revisit that post and see if things have improved in our society 7 years on but sadly we know it hasn’t and it is also ironic that I am currently reading a book by Dorothy koomson which is about 2 girls and a paedophile teacher. I was so shocked reading in plain text how he groomed them making them believe nothing was wrong in them being together and at the same time they must keep it a secret. I cannot wait to finish the book. We all know teenagers are always eager to be an adult, experience and experiment what we think is fun and exciting about being an adult and there will unfortunately always be one paedophile nearby ready to pounce on one. Which is why in my opinion it is a great idea to welcome those difficult and cringy  questions from our kids, now more than ever because if you shrug them off or are uncomfortable to answer those questions, they have friends in school, online or even professor Google that they can talk to.

It is up to you which one of the above options you think is right for your kids to turn to when they have questions. As for me, I talked to mine, answered difficult questions making sure I referenced the Quran. No matter what we do we can only try to keep them safe ultimately it is only Allah who can do this for us.

We need to do better, we need to do more when it comes to safeguarding our kids including the teenagers. Educate them, explain to them, make them aware of dangers online and offline because they may not always understand them even if they think they do. They tend to forget that even though we are parents, we were also once kids and are aware of some of the things they are facing either positively or negatively. Do leave me a comment as to what your thoughts are, we all can share and swap parenting tips. As always thanks for stopping by 😊

 

Pitta bread

26 Jan

How we eat “healthy” as Nigerians is shocking and I hold my hands
up that I am very much guilty of this too up till early last year. I knew
I had to lose weight but I didn’t have the right information about
Nigerian foods and how to cook them to help me achieve this.
What I knew was that I had to eat more vegetables to support any
weight loss so what I did was eat vegetables along with my rice and
stew or vegetables with my jollof rice and carried on eating my biscuits,
cakes, crisps and so on. It took some time for me to realise I wasn’t

losing the weight but I was either maintaining some times or gaining

at other times. I had to do something more effective so I looked into

doing weight watchers but decided against it as it was all point based

on mainly English foods
and didn’t include Nigerian meals.Then I considered slimming world
and I found it was more accommodating of a Nigerian diet than WW
was I decided to do it. Somehow this only lasted for a few weeks and I
even wrote about it here until my group leader made me realize that
the losses I was achieving in those early weeks were quite low for someone
my size and we had to change things up.
Firstly I couldn’t not eat my okele every once in a while for the sake of
losing weight but SW did not have a way of counting syns (a system
on SW a bit similar to calorie counting) on amala or eba then secondly
I couldn’t afford to cook 1 meal for me and another for the family so
painfully I made the decision to stop weight loss the SW way until I find
what works which really translated to another failed attempt. I’m very good
at that you see, failed attempts I mean.
Around September 2017 my youngest sister gifted me with the loseitnigerian
guide and I kept hold of it without opening it for another 2 months then
around November I decided to join the support group on Facebook and it
was amazing reading all these transformation and support stories and how
they are keeping it up so I decided I will use this method as I strongly
believed it will work but in my mind I knew it wouldn’t work for me as I have
no long term determination in me.
Anyway I read all the notes in the guide on how to eat well to lose weight and
a lot of how us Nigerians eat became very clear to me. I now see pictures of

food and I understand how I will make it fit into my lifestyle so that I can

fully enjoy it and I know the consequences or benefits I will get from it all

thanks to LIN. I encourage anyone who is looking for
what best to do as per weight loss to
invest in the LIN guide you will not regret spending that
money, it is so worth it. We eat a large amount of carbohydrates in our
Nigerian meals which we then cook in lots of oil. I have even heard of going
vegan to lose weight and I have heard people swear by it. In my
opinion it is absolutely impossible to lose weight on a vegan diet if you
don’t understand how to eat which is what a lot of people need. The only
filling foods you can
eat as a vegan Nigerian are carbohydrates and

without properly understanding it, you won’t lose weight.
I really hope this post has challenged youto think of how

you eat and will make you reassess yourself.Did you take part or are

you taking part in Veganuary, would youconsider it? If you did how was it?

Leave me a comment down below please because
I always love reading your thoughts. Thank you 💙

Are you a natural?

7 Jan

I had been training a new colleague for the last few weeks at work and I enjoyed it a lot as it is something I had done a lot of from my previous jobs. It also helps me to be patient with people as I know we all learn at different paces and it also helps to highlight where I need to embed my own knowledge better.

Anyway after the whole training, they got me a present (a box of very much appreciated chocolates 😋) which was totally unexpected and I said you didn’t have to as I was only doing my job but in response they said “I know but you deserve it because you were very clear and understanding throughout.”

This made me resolve that my new year’s resolution will be to be more thoughtful than I have been as I would not think to get someone who trained me a gift as I will think after all they were only doing their job.

After analysing myself I can see that everyone around me including my siblings are naturally more thoughtful than I am. Does being thoughtful come to you naturally or do you have to be prompted? I’ll love to know. Leave your comments down below for me please.

Thank you for your time 😊

I Flew business class! eek 👏

8 Nov

I know, I know people do all the time but I have never so let me make a song and dance about it. It so happened that we decided to go on a family holiday outside of the UK that isn’t to Nigeria for the first time ever. After a lot of discussions arguments and even voting, we finally settled on going to Istanbul (best family holiday yet).

23 hours before we flew out, I logged on to the website to check we have all been allocated sits together. I tried booking our sits weeks before but it would have cost me £8 per person per leg of flight. No way was I paying extra to ensure we all sit together because I know that as long as I already bought my ticket I am assured a sit and no airline is making extra money off me unless I am getting something beautiful in return. Ask anyone who knows me, I am stingy like that. ☺️

So I logged on to check our sits and thankfully they were as together as possible then I noticed a message that said I can make an offer to fly back business class I thought i will click into it to see what offer they meant. I noticed it was literally just that, any offer so I made an offer and they replied that they will let me know if my offer is accepted or rejected in a few days. They let me know like 3 days to our return flight so I decided to keep it a secret from my family because I love doing things like that and I am a massive fan of surprises.

When we got to the check in desk and the lady printed off our tickets and handed it to us the rest of my family were wondering why we got a lounge pass and our tickets were cards and not the paper ones we had on our way out until my husband noticed”business class” written on the tickets. We were all buzzing and at the same time trying not to be over excited not to come across to others around us as if we hadn’t flown business class before. None of my family could understand how it happened so I told them how I had done it. We were all so over the moon and could not stop grinning from ear to ear but due to a delay on our way to the airport, there wasn’t enough time for us to visit the lounge in Istanbul.

The business class seats were nothing spectacular it was just that no one sat next to you which is amazing and instead of the normal “beef or cheese” question you get asked in economy by the host/hostess, we got a menu card to choose from. A MENU!!! We all kept grinning across to one another and taking loads of pictures.

We had a 6 hour layover in Frankfurt but in all the excitement of it all, we forgot to change some money into Euros from Istanbul for us to spend on refreshments during the layover. As you will recall we have never flown anything other than economy so we were quite surprised when we got to the airport Lounge that there was endless supply of different foods and different drinks. I kept on telling everyone we must behave so that none of the other passengers will suspect it was our first time flying business class but it got to a stage that I got so excited I couldn’t care what anyone thought of us anymore after all we don’t know them so what did it matter? So we took as many pictures in the airport lounge as we could and ate as many times as we fancied.

The flight to Manchester was also beautiful the only downside was that I forgot to specify that our meal preference is halal so we didn’t get to eat although by that time we had eaten so much in the airport lounge we weren’t really hungry as it was a short flight anyway.

We had a truly beautiful experience that we talk about it as often as the opportunity arises. I will love to read your experience of a beautiful travel or holiday you have been on. Thank you so much for reading, I truly appreciate you all 💚

Mother duties

18 Sep

So these last few weekends have been super busy for me. We have been at a few university open days with my daughter. She sure didn’t get her organisational skills from me because left to me we will probably be going to them next year. We are super proud of her.

Daughter has always been at the top of her class and although she works hard to earn her place, this recent weeks have exposed my shortcomings as a parent. I have constantly praised her, constantly teased her of the fact that she will be a big shot one day but what I haven’t realised in all of these is that I have been putting more pressure on her. Since choosing her choice of study in university, she has met more kids like her going to study the same course as her in uni and of course among these people are some that got better grades than she did at GCSEs and she got really good grades. She has heard a few conversations at open days that made her realise that her playing field is no more comfortable, It just got bigger.
So she looked quite worried again today after meeting up with some girls who appear to have better results than her and when we had the parent talk with her, she wasn’t convinced still so after a few minutes when it was just me and her I asked her why she wasn’t convinced and she said “daddy keep saying I am on track but I am not used to being on track, I am used to being above track” That is when it dawned on me that in all our eagerness and excitement, we forgot to tell her that her playing field of about 50 kids just became a playing field of 1000 kids.

So going forward I will appreciate and encourage every one of her achievements and stop adding any extra pressure on her by telling people what course she intends to study at uni as I have now realised I am not going about it the right way. So celebrate your children’s achievements, encourage their aspirations but do not add any pressure on them by allowing them compare themselves to another kid who perhaps does better than them. Rather nuture their shortcomings in a subtle way that doesn’t involve comparison.

I am convinced she will get a place at a university of her choice she just needs to be convinced too 🙂